"I over analyze, Help!" - Mirrors

© Beautifully taken in corners of Maadi, Cairo

"You'll be someone who shines"

"You'll be as special as you are right now when you grow up,'' they always said.

Me? I'm scared.

I'm worried more than how supportive your words are.. 

I'm worried enough not to believe your admiring phrases as they're not proof I'm going to be who I've always wanted to be.. 

I'm scared and I've got millions of dark shattered thoughts that split into hundreds that fission into small explosives and tiny tussles that come out with the word "I wish" with a smile .. 

I'm scared not to reach the furthest star that's actually the perfect version of me in a parallel universe..

Your thoughts and everything else is becoming more detailed within all of the implicit messages sent in the air, lurking in your eyeballs and the electricity of sickness coming out of your body.

This is how you've become extremely exposed and how clearly scared you are, This is how non secretive life gets you.

You either don't know what does anxiety mean because you are so lucky.. you didn't have a strange feeling that makes you spend time searching and looking up for an expression to it, or you spend your life looking for the escape and your ways out, also looking for comfort zones wherever you go and that doesn't interfere with the difficulty of leaving your main comfort zones.

"What if I'm not good enough?"

What if the answer isn't satisfying? What does that mean I should be doing something irrelevant to my soul? 

Fine. Here comes the part you question your existence, you don't wanna be cliché or have some-never solved crisis but you can do something more fun which is understanding that it's only in your head.

Guess what? Anxiety has nothing to do with reality, it's the assumptions you keep making for a whole week to find out at the end that none of them were relating to the truth. 

Trust me, I've been there.. regarding the dilemma of not being good enough.. gotta come down..

Isn't that enough reason to start being good enough? Here is what anxiety does.. that monster,

it brings you the gasping while building walls and walls of protection, to stay safe and secured because dammit the world is a killing war out there until you're completely isolated from the actual veracity.

I'm not saying that life is fair, it is a monster as well but at least it gives you the opportunity to try and fail instead of isolating yourself for the sake of fearing failure.

A soulful monster, isn't it?